Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat

Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.

Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.

Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.

Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."

Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.

Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Santa Calls Up White House

Santa- I Want To Be D Next President Of USA.

Obama - Are You Idiot?

Santa-No, .
.
.
Is It Compulsory?

Police:Car Gas Par Hai
Santa:No

Police:Petrol Par
Santa:No

Police: Diesel Par
Santa:No

Police: Phir Kis Par Hai
?
Santa: Installment Par Hai
G.

Santa Apni Girlfriend K Sath 1st Date Pe:

"Ye Meri Pehli Date Hy Darling"

Agar Koi Glti Ya Kami Reh Jaye To.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Chota Bhai Samaj Kr Maaf Kr Dena':-)

Once Santa Farted In English Class :
.
.
.
Teacher: "What is This"?
.
Sardar: "This is My Back Ground Music.. =P =D

Santa In Computer Exam
Examiner
"What Is Microsoft Excel?"

Santa : "It Is A New Brand Of Surf Excel To Clean The Computer :P :D

Santa:
Oye Yara Machli Khaega?

Banta:
Nahi Yaar Us me Kaante Hote Hain.

Santa:
Oye Chhor Yaar,
Chappal Pehen K Kha Lena....�

Santa's Father
brought a
NEW SIM CARD..

Santa saved that
...Number in his Mobile Phone
as,
.

.

.

.

.

.

.
"New Father" :P ;)

Sardar Was Awarded 2010 Nobel Prize
For His New
"Theory Of Motion"

Which States:

"Loose Motion Can Never Be Done In Slow Motion." ;->

Air hostess: Sir kya loge?
Sardar: Milk Badam, Kheer, Bread Pakora n Tandoori Chicken wid Naan.
Airhostess: Sir tusi jahaaz te aaye ho,
Apne PYO DE VYAAH te nhi!

Aarti Chabria-the Winner of Khatron ke Khiladi Season 4!?

Host and action fanatic Akshay Kumar has left no stone unturned to promote the show. The actor performed a near-fatal stunt when the car he was driving went up in fumes but he emerged unscathed.

Contestants:-

Aashka Goradia, television actress who gained popularity with the show Kkusum and Laagi Tujhse Lagan; Sunit Bhatia is her partner in the show.

Aliesia Raut, model and Actor, born in Moscow, Russia and a mother to four year old boy. She has acted in the movie Fashion; Shashwat Seth is her partner in the show.

Anjum Chopra, Delhite who has represented India in many World Cup for Indian National Women’s cricket team. Sandeep Sachdev is her partner in the show.

Aarti Chhabria, Bollywood actress. She has acted with Akshay Kumar in Awara Paagal Deewana. Dhaval Thakur is her partner in the show.(Eliminated )

VJ Bani, Gurbani Judge has been a MTV Roadies’ participant and MTV VJ from Chandigarh. Amit Mehra is her partner in the show.(Eliminated )

Diandra Soares, Model and Actress, started her modeling career after wining Miss Mumbai in 1995. She has also worked in movies like Boom and Fashion. Ahran Chaudhary is her partner in the show.

Dina Singh, Model of Russian origin and wife of Bollywood actor Vindu Dara Singh. Dina is an fashion designer and mother of 4 yr old daughter Amelia. Pramod Dahiya is her partner in the show.(Eliminated )

Kashmera Shah, model, actor, known for her bold and glamorous image, Kashmera has worked in movies and television shows. Last seen in Bigg Boss as a participant. Sumit Suri is her partner in the show.(Eliminated)

Mauli Dave, singer turned actress was born in Ahmedabad and brought up in US. She has won Miss Teen India Texas in 2007 and created sensation with her singing talent. Dhiraj Amonkar is her partner in the show.

VJ Mia, 27 year old Mia is an actress / model of Canadian origin. She has also been hosting a lot of shows on MTV and is a well known VJ. Sangram Singh is her partner in the show.

Poonam Pandey, model based out of Mumbai. Praveen Jain is her partner in the show.(Eliminated )

Sambhavana Seth, actress, dancer and TV personality, Sambhavana Kumar Seth is known for her bindaas attitude. Winner of Dancing Queen and an ex Bigg Boss participant. Khalid Chowdhary is her partner in the show. (Eliminated 1st day on 3rd June 2011).

Smita Bansal, television actress last seen on the popular show Balika Vadhu. Saurabh Roy is her partner in the show.(Eliminated 2nd day on 4June 2011).